Healing and Coping with the Terrors of War: Nelson’s Experience

by Scarlet Salas

“When I think back to Congo, I get irritated. I get angry and I start fighting. But I don’t want that at all...” — Nelson, WarChild

Not every child that sees and/or experiences war, violence, and conflict has the same reaction. The most expected reaction is that kids live with trauma that keeps them up for nights, suffering persisting mentally that makes them miserable even after finding sanctuary,.. And that is true! But it’s not the case for all children, especially those that are refugees. It is incredibly sad to see something like that happen, but it’s not absolute that these children only feel miserable. Other forms of expression from such trauma can be interpreted as anxiety, numbness, guilt, anger, hypervigilance, and the list continues. Not every kid feels the same, and we should already be made aware of that. Even if the child projects behavior that’s mischievous, aggressive, etc, it’s important to note that they all go through something different and every kid has their own way of coping with such things. It’s complex and it’s not easy to figure out these emotions, but it’s important to be aware and cut them some slack. These kids have already gone through a lot, so of course they’re going to have a bit of issues and problems from their experiences.

Meet Nelson, a fifteen-year-old boy that had to struggle with fear and conflict in his country the Dominican Republic of Congo. He had to flee his country at an early age after his uncle was killed for his work as a lawyer and they were now being targeted by rebels, a group of men armed with weapons and such. These rebels threatened Nelson and his family, saying that if his father didn’t return to the country he had fled from at first, Nelson and his siblings would be forced into sexual activities with each other and that Nelson himself would suffer unimaginable harm. From this point on, he and his family knew they had to leave as soon as possible. They fled to and ended up in Uganda, the safer country that ensured them they had more to live for over there with their own land and belongings. But, Nelson was still struggling with coping, He notes that he’d often have nightmares of those rebels killing his people and children, bombing and raiding places where innocent people stayed. It soon became a behavioral issue with Nelson wanting to inflict violence just as they did to him. So, WarChild’s program “TeamUp” took him in and other kids that are similar to him. Here, he learned to project his emotions through sports and athletic activity, a much better mechanism than taking it out on other people. Nelson also learned to socialize properly and eventually build himself and his life into something better. When Nelson turned twenty-four, he started his own business as a barbershop. He had some experience in DRC and made it into something bigger, something that earned him money. With the help of his mentor Nabassa Allen and the FIND program, his barbershop thrived and he now runs a stable life with stable income. Nelson’s story is not only one of resilience, but improvement for the future. He was such a troubled young man and put his efforts into something better. That is what growth really is.

Sources : rescue.org, warchild.org.au, & warchild.net